My Papa

The love, admiration and respect that I have for my dad has deepened and grown with each year of my life. He is a bit of an anomaly, a defined and unique individual, who has purposefully, decisively and consciously built, created, and molded his life through his hard work, diligence and ingenuity. (Though, not through much patience =o).) His drive is unrelenting. His gratitude--for life, agency, God's mercy and kindness, and his family--runs deep. His wisdom and unconditional love has shaped my life. In too many ways to possibly begin to express, I am who I am because of my Dad.

Here is the list I wrote in sacrament meeting today of things I love, admire, appreciate, and remember when I think of my dad (in no particular order):

• I remember frequently catching him studying in his den.
• It was undoubtedly clear that family was his first priority. (And second. And probably third.)
• Despite my hesitancy to open up, he took the time to listen completely and ask meaningful questions--and was patient through my choppy communication skills as I expressed my thoughts. He still is.
• He offers (to those who are interested or take the time to hear) deep insights, depth of conversation, unique perspective, and trusted wisdom that changes lives.
• His father's blessings have been sacred experiences and full of love.
• He and mom came to all my concerts and had no reservations about being loud (and ever-so-slightly embarrassing) in their applause. (Everyone should be blessed with parents who embarrass them with their applause.)
• He loved taking us with him on business trips. (And when he couldn't, the trips were as short and to the point as possible. And he always brought us a fun little something.) We grew up traveling along the Oregon Coast with him, much to the delight of my mom!
• I loved his smiling eyes when Vo & I would yell, "Daddy's home!" and run to attack him when he'd open the door after his work day.
• Daddy-back rides--on all fours, then he's dump us on the couch.
• Walking on his feet
• Making my stuffed animals talk to me and cheer me up.
• Saturday morning pancakes in my initials
• He didn't yell at us when, after Mom approved our suitcase-packing, Vo & I snuck our clothes back out and shoved in as many stuffed animals as possible. We got to the hotel at the beach, mischievously unzipped our Care Bears suitcases, and jumped, singing triumphantly, on the bed with our precious toys. In fact, he and mom laughed. And then we went to shop for new clothes. (He personified them. We felt bad leaving them at home!)
• In high school I was involved in a lot and was rarely home. One night I came home from a school activity really late, and had to be at the school again dark and early to travel to Seattle for a competition. I was so tired and slept far past my alarm. I woke up traumatized and indescribably disappointed! Without a moment's hesitation, Dad said he had work near Seattle he needed to take care of next week, but he could move it up and take me..right now. I still don't know if he really needed to be in Seattle. I honestly doubted it, but was so grateful for his willingness to do this for me that I just soaked it in and let him tell me he did. I didn't want to ruin his unbelievably kind gesture by asking if it was really true. I made it there in time for the event, much to everyone's amazement! Including mine.
• He is the epitome of thinking for yourself and exercising agency. He's grateful God gave it to us and is confident in using it, especially when doing so outside the box (as defined by...anyone).
• I loved seeing him take mom to the temple.
• I loved seeing him do things just because he knew it would make mom happy. He delighted in seeing Mom delighted.
• When I was sad or pensitive and in my room with the door closed, he would come in, smile understandingly, pull the wordsearch book off my shelf, sit by me on my bed, and hand me one of the two pens in his hand. He knew when to talk, when to listen, and when to distract. Then he'd tell me how amazingly fast I was at finding the words. When he left my world was lighter and I loved him for it!
• I admire his relationship with our Father in Heaven, his concerted efforts to know Him, and feel privileged and humbled to be a quiet listener to his gratitude-laden prayers.
  
• There are other things. But this is long.

Between Dad's heart attack, Mom's heart attack and subsequent passing, and my divorce, 2007 was the hardest year for Dad and me. He has been the best friend I could hope for through it all. Surprisingly, nearly always I do not feel alone, but full of hope and love and I know this is so much because of Dad and my sisters and family. I hope with all my heart that despite the imperfection of expression of my deep gratitude and love for him, it lightens his days!

Who Dad is still shapes my life today, and I know will continue to do so throughout the rest of my life. I am eternally grateful for the parents I am so blessed to have during my mortal sojourn on this earth. This is not an easy task, this life. I quite often feel like I'm far from home here. But God's mercies and Love abound throughout it all! For me those tender mercies began with my reception into this world by my loving mom and dad. I couldn't have had better parents to guide me, teach me, and encourage me through this life if I'd chosen them myself!

...In fact, they're so good I think I probably did. =o)

(Dad: I know, I know. Your head's chopped off in the pic. I liked it anyway =oP )