At the Gate of the Year

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
'Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown!'
And he replied:
'Go out into the darkness and put your hand in to the
Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.'

~From "The Gate of the Year," Masterpieces of Religious Verse (1948), 92

Just treading into the unknown, again.
Like we all do.
Things were going along nicely 'til I made a plan, as Dad would say.
Things pretty much never go like I think they should.

But the choice is to let it beat me down or "Round up [my] shoulders and stand under it like [a woman]," as Joseph Smith would say.

Elder Holland gave a great talk at the BYU Devotional last January called "Remember Lot's Wife," that I just listened to one morning last week, and interestingly, it's out in this month's Ensign magazine retitled: "The Best is Yet to Be". (Which reminds me of Dad, by the way. He'd always tell me to expect good things. The best is in front of me. I sure love my Dad <3 )

In this talk he spoke of Lot's wife looking back at the city they were leaving. She got in trouble for it. Whether her turning into a pillar of salt is literal or figurative, I don't know, to be honest. But I do believe that God is teaching us that looking back longingly, our "attachment to the past outweighing our confidence in the future", as Elder Holland puts it, is what we are to avoid.

"FAITH IS ALWAYS POINTED TOWARD THE FUTURE." He said.
"Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will YET be efficacious in our lives. So a more theological way to talk about Lot's wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought--fatally, as it turned out--that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind."

This implies to me just as obviously, that looking toward the future with FEAR is the equivalent in faithlessness as looking longingly toward something in our past.

Wow. I read that and thought..."Wait a SECond...I don't doubt the Lord's ability to give me something better in the future than the couple of months I've been holding to longingly in the past. Sheesh. Of COURSE He can bless my future as He has my past. So what the heck. Why am I acting this way. Go forward with faith."

I believe it in my heart, so I need to buck up and quit pouting. My actions are looking pretty faithless. If I believe that God can bless my future, I need to stop looking toward it with an element of doubt. And I need to stop longing for something in the past that's not my present.

GRATITUDE is the past tense of FAITH. HOPE is the FUTURE TENSE. Where did I pick that up? I didn't make it up, but it sure touched my heart and stayed with me. IF I HAVE FAITH, then I will look to my past with gratitude. IF I HAVE FAITH, then I will look to my future with hope.

That's just how it is. I choose faith. So.

Bring it on, New Year. Let's see whatchu've got!